Fronto Temporal Dementia has thrown my mother into a world where anger, sadness, fits of violence, abusive threatening language, diminished mobility, confusion and resulting depression keeps her in bed most of the time. A world full of shadows, people she knows she should recognise but who illude her recognition. When the sun shines fleetingly upon us we step out of the shadows and are recognised. I am a shadow person............ this is the life I live.
Monday, 19 August 2013
Name on a T Shirt
Over recent weeks Mums condition has greatly deteriorated. She is becoming more confused with where she is as she is now not recognising her surroundings and who we are.
A few days ago I wore a t-shirt that my Salsa Teacher friend had done for me and it bore my name on the front. I had worn it whilst taking a break from Mum for a few hours by helping my friend sort out new premises for her dance classes, I returned home and whilst preparing dinner in the kitchen Mum appeared and sat at the table watching me being busy.
At one point I stood in front of her whilst trying to have a conversation, she looked at the name on my T-shirt and said ‘I didn’t know your name was Susannah’ I smiled she then said ‘How long have you had that name?’
I smiled at her and said ‘I have had this name ever since you gave it to me when I was a small baby.’
Mum frowned and disappeared into her alternate world somewhere far away where only she exists.
My Dad shrugged at me as if to say .......... oh well, what next?
I shrugged back in reply....... who knows!
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